Is Chivalry Dead?

I am all about equal rights for women and avoiding placing gender roles on people. At the same time I was always so appreciative of both young and old men giving up their seats for me and Dewi on the bus, letting me get on the bus first even though they had been waiting at the stop much longer than me, or holding the elevator doors open for me. I miss those days. As much as I love Singapore, I find that these little acts of chivalry and consideration are rare in my new city. Crowds of able-bodied people who are able to use the escalators bum rush the elevators so that there is no more room for us and the stroller. Women and men alike rush past us and push us out of the way so that they can get onto the train first, while we struggle to get the stroller over the gap and in the door before the train takes off.  People pretend to be asleep on the train so that they don't have to give the reserved seats (reserved for elderly, parents with children, and pregnant women) up for us. As clean and beautiful as everything is here, I really wish that chivalry would find its way here. In the meantime, we will continue shoulder checking those who dare get in Dewi's way.

Singapore Playdates

Dewi and I have started getting out to meet mommies and babies in the area. Fortunately we found a mommies and babies meetup group close to us in the west coast area. Our outings have generally been a short bus ride away. In Singapore, it is required that parents take their babies out of the "pram", fold the pram, and keep it folded during the ride. That's a lot of work when you have a baby and at least one bag to carry. When we go on outings as a family, taking Dewi out of the stroller before we get on the bus is no problem. I have found that when it's just me and Dewi, strapping her into the Ergo is much easier for our outings. Since Dewi is getting bigger by the day, lugging a 20+ lb. baby all day is quite a workout. Both of us usually have blobs of sweat on our shirts by the time we get to our destination.

So far we have had a couple of outings/playdates at nearby West Coast Park, which is this amazing space right on the water. It is a huge park with several playgrounds that are sure to give Dewi hours of entertainment when she is older. Right now she is happy enough chilling on our picnic blanket (a parting gift from a Boat People SOS banquet many years ago), running her fingers through the sand in the playground area, and watching the bigger kids play on the playground. Right by the playground is the nicest McDonald's that I have ever seen. It has an outside patio area with chairs, tables, ponds, and ceiling fans that remind me of restaurants in Bali. Compared to the 5th Street McDonald's in DC that Derek and I often passed on the way to Derek's work or when I had to go to court, it is such a difference.

Dewi and I have also gotten together with a new friend and her baby at their condo, an MRT ride away. We attempted to hang out in the pool with the babes, but as always, the unexpected (rather, "expected", since it happens nearly everyday) Singaporean afternoon shower shortened our pool time. We still had a lot of fun, chatting and watching the babies play with each other. Even though Singaporean afternoons can be hot and humid, after hearing of the recent DC snowstorms and unfortunate power outages to friends' homes, I am grateful for our tropical weather. Especially since the NUS pool is just a short internal shuttle ride away.

You are confirmed (incl. 1 high chair) for Superbowl

That's a paraphrase of the reservation confirmation Karina forwarded to me this afternoon. It is awesome on several levels.

1) We've found a place showing the Super Bowl Monday morning here in Singapore

2) Our Super Bowl party will be breakfast at a place called Brewerkz

3) Dewi gets to partake in a Super Bowl party before her first birthday

I can hardly believe that my hometown team actually made it all the way to the Super Bowl this season. It was a little more difficult to follow the Pack during my years in DC, because the local airwaves were dedicated to Redskins mediocrity. But I've been a dedicated fan since the 3rd grade, and so I didn't give up on this season, even as they fell to 8-6 with two games to play, and I was in the process of packing up my life and relocating to the other side of the world. Since that time, they've won five straight games, and I've learned that through the magic of Skype, a webcam, and my dad's TV in Brown Deer, I can watch the games online (desperate times...)

Anyway, we quickly realized that out of the three of us, Dewi is the only one with Packer gear here, thanks to Uncle Greg's great find of a tiny Aaron Rodgers jersey. I give Karina credit for trying to figure out whether or not we'd have enough time to order something online for ourselves and get it delivered to Singapore before kickoff. I had some long sleeve shirts that just didn't make the cut since our average day time temp hovers in the 80s. At worst, we may just dig out some Brewers jerseys that we did bring along, so we can rep Wisconsin, and, by extension, the Pack. I don't get homesick very often, but without my Super Bowl breakfast to look forward to, Chinese New Year aside, I think next weekend would have been a long, sad weekend for me. So thank you, American-themed restaurant, satellite television, and 13 hour time difference, for converging in such a beautiful way. If Notre Dame makes it to a BCS Bowl next year, I will need to call on you again.

Don't take candy from strangers...

Here is a list of freebies that Dewi has gotten from strangers in Singapore, usually accepted while waiting for the bus or while riding the MRT:

1. Biscuit 

2. Honeydew

3. Jelly candy

4. Cough drop
5. Tangerine
6. Oreos

Taking a size 1 in the face

Sharing a bedroom with Dewi involves compromises. By compromise, I mean we will do whatever it takes to get her back to sleep if she wakes in the middle of the night. We've already stopped setting an alarm because she rises, literally, at 6:15, as regular as the sun. I usually hear her stir and babble to herself around 6, but by 6:15 she stands up, peers over the top of her pack & play, and giggles/whispers "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy." One morning she managed to find my toes poking out and tickled them-- that's a way to startle Daddy in the morning.

This week, though, she's either having an unusually tough time sleeping through the night, or she's finally realized that if she gets up at 3am, that means she gets to cuddle with Mama and Daddy for a few hours. Not that she's much for cuddling. We usually spend at least 30 minutes helping her find a comfortable position. Last night it was my armpit. The tossing and turning is usually interspersed with some attempts to stand up and play with the lamp or anything else not quite within arm's reach. At some point, Karina will have Dewi lay down on top of her chest and will sing to her. That soothes her, but typically she'll then slither her body onto the bed, turn sideways, and lay her feet up on my face.

Now, little baby feet are super cute, but when they're cracking your larynx at 3:30 in the morning, or you take a chubby little heel in the eye socket, they're a little less precious. Dewi likes to slam her feet down as she's falling asleep. Something about the repetitive motion, I think, and it doesn't hurt a crib mattress but it does hurt Daddy's face. So I've got to coax our little angel into a different position without stirring her too much lest she think we're going to wake up and play.

Most mornings we wake up and she's curled up on her side, back to me, facing Karina, clutching her Taggie. No one really quite knows when she falls asleep, but inevitably she does, and wakes us up again at 6:15 so we can start our day. And so every night, we slink in to the room at 10:30 or 11, being careful not to wake her, and hoping that we won't see that little mop of black hair pop up before the sun does.

Dewi Outings

Practicing to be a gymnast on the bus

On a stroller walk

Swimming at the NUS pool

Photo Shoot

Two nights ago, Derek took a headshot of me while I stood against our pale beige walls. While applying for jobs in Singapore, I found that many of the postings require me to submit my photograph along with the usual CV and cover letter. I searched through my archive of recent photos and realized that I have spent the past 11 months taking pictures of Dewi. The only pictures of me that I did find were those with me sporting a ponytail and PJ's. In the end, I ended up cropping out Dewi out of a decent picture that she and I took together when my hair was actually down and I didn't look like a high school student. Hopefully my "glamour shot" will help me in my job search. And I promise, these are for legit jobs!